10.) Two Worlds (Xbox 360)
I'll be completely honest. I spent about a half hour with this game before writing it off as one of the worst abortions gaming could jettison from its loins. It all starts with the incredibly generic fantasy world, and goes screaming downhill from there. It's like the creators wanted to make a game that was as bad, creepy and immature as possible. Just within the first few minutes, you get implied incest between the main character and his sister, as well as the hilarity of him running around asking people where he can find "The Taint." I don't know what the Taint is in this world, but I know what it is in mine, and I certainly wouldn't walk around talking about it.
Not only is the setting idiotic, the gameplay is worse. It's glitched beyond belief, with such fun moments as your character suddenly becoming stuck in midair after a jump. And combat? Well it's frustratingly random and void of any strategy. No matter what weapon you equip, your character flails it in front of him like an extra from a bad kung fu flick. Aside from magic, you have to get right in your enemy's face and flail on the attack button until either you kill him, or he kills you. And speaking of enemies, there are maybe five unique foes in the game, and all the monsters are pretty much just recolored versions of the core five.
So yes, I hate this game. But it's probably because I don't have brain damage. All the positive reviews I've seen for the game are rife with misspellings and god awful grammar. So maybe this game is for them?
SPECIAL BONUS! The Two Worlds official strategy guide actually misspells the title right on the front cover and spine. That's hilarious. The game also comes with a pen and paper role playing book based on itself, so you can bring your misery to your friends!
9.)The Adventures of Batman and Robin (Sega Genesis)
Oh Batman. I want to tell you this game is bad. It really isn't, but its so damned difficult it borders on unplayable. The difficulty starts right out of the gate, and doesn't let up for a second. The entire game is essentially a boss rush mode, with each boss having about 100 "hp." That doesn't seem like much, but when you have to hit the boss twenty times to deal 1HP worth of damage, the fights can drag on forever. And you're fragile enough to go down with a hit or two. GOOD LUCK!
8.) Koudelka (PS1)
Oh my god. This game. This freaking game. This game is the fusion of a grid based RPG game and a survival horror game. You basically stumble around a house of horrors, killing monsters and trying to make sense out of the game's ridiculous plot. And stumble is the right word for it, because most of the house of horrors is open to you from the start. You can find weapons, like lead pipes and such, but their placement is random every time you play, as is their elemental attributes. That's right, you can pick up a lead pipe with a water attribute. And that randomness really kicks you in the ass when you go up against a boss that's immune to all but a certain element, and the game decides not to give you a weapon with that element. This means you're boned and you have to start over from the beginning. And this will happen frequently, so you're going to have to pray luck is on your side. But it's not. The gods of fortune hate you.
As you explore, you'll get into random encounters. The enemies can be hilariously easy, or absurdly hard, even right from the beginning. In the first area of the game, I encountered a random encounter enemy that was harder than the final boss! Again, luck plays a factor here. And as I've stated before, the gods of fortune have forsaken you.
SPECIAL BONUS! The screenshot I found for the game shows that very same super difficult enemy! Upside-down gun-toting zombie man!
7.) Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter (PS2)
I'll put it out there right away. Breath of Fire is god. This is my all-time favorite RPG series, and I hungrily absorb any new game that comes out. That being said, this game is so rage inducing that I'm likely to forget my manners and tell the whole series to die in a fire.
Why? You can't win. The game is cleverly designed in a way where you can't even beat the first boss. You WILL die. And when you do, the game asks you if you want to start a new game. When you die, SOME of your stats and acquired monies carry over to the new game, meaning that you'll need to restart the game from scratch multiple times to be able to advance. They do throw in extra scenes and other plot bits that pop up each time you do so, but there's no fun in replaying the game over and over again just to beat it.
6.)DragonBall Z: Budokai (PS2)
Hey look! A DragonBall Z game! The first one released in America no less! This is gonna be AWESOME! Wait...why can't the characters fly? Why can't they shoot big death beams? Why am I only pushing the punch button? Why does this game suck?
I just listed the games horrible flaws. You expect to fly in a Dragonball Z game. This is not heard of here. You can knock an opponent into the air, but then the two of you wind up awkwardly standing on the air as if it were ground. This is especially hilarious when you beat a guy down and he just sort of..lies on his back in midair. And big destructive energy blasts? No. The only way to do a Kamehameha is to push the energy button while you're mashing the punch button for a combo. All energy attacks are tied into combos, which eliminates the beam throwing antics from the show in favor of a ridiculous game of "who can push punch the fastest."
Granted, later games in the series actually let you throw your energy attacks independent of the punch button, they still had the same overall gameplay. And that overall gameplay was a GIGANTIC disappointment for me, seeing as how I had been eagerly anticipating a DBZ game for years.
5.) Megaman Legends 3
(Edit. This game got cancelled. It doesn't exist. So I hate it for not even coming out. Capcom done goofed here.)
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