A site where a man with too much free time reviews anything his heart desires, from the amazing to the mundane. From what he ate for breakfast, to the latest product he purchased.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Trevor the Traction Engine: A public Warning
Gaze upon the Island of Sodor's most terrifying predator. Trevor is a traction engine with a love. A love of CHILDREN. And boy howdy, does he love them. They come up in every conversation he has, and in pretty much every sentence that comes out of his vile mouth. He especially loves when a wooden seat is bolted to his rear so the children can ride him. When he isn't talking about children, or isn't dangerously near children, he can be found either sleeping in his barn and dreaming of children, or merely closing his eyes and thinking about children.
His reign of terror was almost over, as his owner (presumably) realized that Trevor was a danger to the children on the island. He was sent away to the scrapyard, and was only days away from being broken down into parts when he was discovered by another engine named Edward. Trevor quickly concocted a sob story, and Edward went back to his owners to plea for Trevor to be restored and saved.
A reverend purchased Trevor for cheap, unaware of the evil bubbling deep in his boiler. He brought him to the vicarage orchard, where he works moving things. On days when there's a church fair, he becomes like a fox in a henhouse, surrounded by his favorite prey.
So watch yourselves. Behind that evil smile lies the heart of a predator. Plead with his owner to scrap him before another child is harmed!
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